How Could Someone So Small

What’s on my mind?

Charlie.

I miss him.

For 15 years he was with me pretty much 24/7. The space he used to occupy in my life has a giant spotlight on it lately. I’m just now realizing how important my relationship with him was.

In those 15 years, I started a business, became a father (twice), wrestled hard with my mental health, and started therapy that finally helped me say out loud a few things from my past that were having an outsized impact on my daily life.

And Charlie—this little dog—was with me through all of it.

He never tried to stop me from doing anything. He listened with intent. He didn’t judge. He loved me the same on the good days and the awful ones.

He watched me cry, laugh, scream, punch my own chest, sing off-key, and struggle with more than I was willing to admit to most people. And every single morning, he still got up to greet me like I was his favorite person in the world.

His unwavering support… I underestimated how much it meant to me.

Now that he’s gone, I’m feeling the hole that kind of presence leaves behind. Not having that “someone” I can say anything to—literally anything—without worrying about how they’ll react, if I’ll scare them, or if I’ll hurt their feelings… that’s been hard.

I’m looking at Charlie Mackesy’s book Always Remember: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, the Horse and the Storm. One of the first lines is:

“How could someone so small fill such a huge space in our hearts?”

Yep. That sums it up.

I wish everyone had a relationship like this at least once in their life—whether it’s with a pet, a friend, a partner, a therapist, or a trusted colleague. A place where you can let the words out and not have to manage how they land.

Today’s lesson from Charlie:

• It’s ok to not be ok.

• I can do this.

• I am not alone.

And if you’re reading this and missing your own “Charlie”—you’re not alone either. 💚