The Story My Brain Tells

What’s on my mind?

On Friday I wrote myself this note as a prompt for this morning’s message:

“Whatever you believe is true.

If you don’t like the world you live in, change the way you perceive it. The environment might not change, but the way you receive it can. The way you interpret the situation can change.

If you always feel threatened, you’ll never stop looking for the threat—and you’ll find it in places it doesn’t exist.

If you always feel lied to, you will find the lies.

Our perceptions matter more than reality.
Our perceptions become our reality.”

A while ago I was talking with a peer about being a State Farm agent and how hard it is. Their response was something like, “That sounds like a scarcity mindset.”

They told me that if I think what I’m trying to do is hard, it will be. If I believe it’s possible and within reach, I’ll move through it differently.

At the time I basically thought, “Look, if it’s hard, it’s hard. Period.”

A few more years of experience later, I’m starting to admit that mindset might matter more than I wanted to believe.

I’m also reminded of the most-watched Reel I’ve ever posted. About 35k people saw a video I made for my wife for our anniversary. At the end I wrote, “Dreams really do come true.”

Someone commented: “Not everyone lives in a dream.”

That comment has stuck with me. At first I was angry. Then I just felt sad for them.

We live on the same planet, in the same reality. Just because I made a highlight reel of my marriage doesn’t mean every day is perfect. It just means I chose to focus on the good.

That commenter seemed locked onto the bad. My good probably made them feel even worse. Isn’t that wild? Someone can be so caught in their own pain that they literally can’t see someone else’s joy—they can only see their own hurt.

There was a part of me that wanted to grab them by the shoulders and say, “Fight for your life. It’s yours.”

Because here’s the truth: for years, I was the person who only saw the terrible. The negative voice in my head was relentless. No matter how good things looked from the outside, my brain had a way of convincing me it was all bad or about to be.

So when one little bad thing happened, I’d think, “See? I told you.”

It has taken years of work—therapy, meditation, practice—to change that internal dialogue. To train my brain to look for the good. To actually see it.

The last few weeks have been a mental struggle again. Old patterns tried to climb back into my head. That’s true.

But here’s what was different this time: the whole time, there was another voice in there quietly pointing out the good. In everything.

Honestly, it annoyed me.

Part of me just wanted to be upset. To feel bad. To wallow for a while. And yet, I’d hear this newer internal voice offering a different angle, a kinder interpretation, and it would drive me nuts.

But it was there.

The training is paying off.

I feel fortunate to have stood on both sides of this—seeing only the worst and learning to notice the good. And I know it’s not “done.” My internal voice will only stay more helpful if I keep working on it.

That’s the part that feels empowering: I get to choose the direction I nudge my mind. I can’t control what happens around me, but I can keep shaping the story I tell myself about it.

And that story is starting to look a lot more like the life I actually want to live.

The photo with this post is a page from one of my favorite books, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy:

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Kind,” said the boy.

What story is your brain telling you about your life today?